英语故事会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。下面是编辑帮助大家整编的幽默风趣的英语小故事【优秀14篇】，希望对大家有所帮助。
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
A bank robber stole a lot of money. He was caught and sent to prison, but the money was never found. When he came out of prison, they watched him to see what he would do. Here is the detective, reporting to the inspector. "Yes, sir, I found Johnny . I followed him all around the town, but frankly, I couldnt make anything out of what he bought. Heres the list."
shirt , heavycrowbar, box of chocolates , shovel, heavy hammer, bunch of flowers .The inspector said, "Good. That helps me a lot. Do you remember how we watched him helping his neighbour, old Mrs. Judson to cover her backyard with cement?
In the past, the grandson of a prime minister was a notorious spendthrift.
He squandered all the family property and couldn’t even afford his own meals, so he oftenborrowed rice from others.
Once he borrowed another bag of rice.He carried it half- way and couldn’t go any further, so herested by the roadside.
At this moment, a poor man in rags happened to pass by. He called this poor man, set the payand let the poor man carry the rice for him.
Unexpectedly, after carrying the rice for some distance, the poor man also panted and couldn’twalk any further.The grandson complained:
“I am the grandson of a prime minister. It is natural that I can neither lift with my hands norcarry on my shoulder anything heavy.
But you are from a poor family. Why are you also so useless?”
Unwilling to give in, the poor man glared and retorted:
“How can you blame me? I am not from a poor family. I am the grandson of a prime minister,too.”
One time, a mountain happened a big earthquake, vibration sounds like a loud moan and shout. Many people gathered
At the foot of the mountain to watch, do not know what had happened. While they were assembled in anxious, worried about seeing something bad omen, only
Saw a mouse running from the mountain.
Dont make much ado about nothing.
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place 。 With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
Prometheus created man, and in each of them hanging round her neck has two pockets, a pack the faults of others, the other
Of their own equipment. He put the loaded others faults pocket hanging in the chest, the other is hanging behind his back. Hence it is that men are
Quick to see the faults of others, and their total however invisible.
This story explained that people often like to find fault with others, but ignore their shortcomings.
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
A rich woman is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same colour as the vase. Several painters try to mix the colour right, but none comes close enough to satisfy the woman.
Eventually, a painter comes. He is confident that he can mix the proper colour. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous. Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son. "Dad,"asks the son, "theres something Ive got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"
"Son,” the father replies, "I painted the vase."
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗？”
旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。
When my wife,Diana, and I met a new couple at church one Sunday, we stopped to introduce ourselves and to exchange pleasantries.
We described the friendly neighborhood we lived in,and listened sympathetically as they lamented that theirs was just the opposite.
Saying our good-byes, we got in our cars and drove home.
As we approached our house,we were horrified to see that our new-found friends were pulling into the driveway next to ours.
When I was a child,I once went camping with my family in the summer. We decided to make a barbecue in the valley. So we collected some tree sticks to make a fire. My father asked me if I could try to make a fire. I was glad to take the job. Then I tried to set fire to the wood with a match,but produced only smoke. Then my father said,”Thats not the right way.
I’ll show you how to do it. First use the small pieces of wood because they catch fire easily. Then put the larger ones on top of them.”My father helped me make a big fire.
Donny is my little brother. He is a naughty boy.
On Sunday morning Donny went into the yard and played with a dog. Sometimes a bird would come down to stay on the tops of the dogs house. Then Donny threw a stone at it. Suddenly the little boy began crying. Mother ran to Donny and asked him what was wrong. He said, "Ivebroken sisters plate. She has beaten me." "Why?" "I threw it at a bird, and it went straight to the plate."
Such was my naughty brother.
On a vacation trip,Duke Huan of the state of Qi came to the ruin of the capital of G[]uo Shi,which perished long ago.
Seeing the desolate and bleak prospects of broken tiles,collapsed walls,and clusters of weeds,he could not help asking the local people about the reason of the ruin of Guo Shi.
They replied,"Guo Shi was fond of doing good deeds,and averse to
evildoing,which led to the perdition."
When the Duke could not understand the answer,people explained,"
Though he liked doing good,he had never been able to do so; though he hated evildoing,never could he help not participating. That caused the ruin of his boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword?