有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。读书之法，在循序而渐进，熟读而精思，以下是勤劳的小编阿青为大家分享的13篇英语笑话带翻译的相关文章，希望对大家有所帮助。
Early Shopper
采购过早
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。
Cat and crab
One day, a cat played near the lake. Suddenly, a crab clamped it. The cat is rather cross , it ran after the crab. After a while, that cat ran into the forest. A big brown spider making its net in the tree, the cat caught the big brown spider very fast, and the cat said to the big brown spider:" Did you think if you on the net, I will not know you? Yes, I still know you?!"
【译文】猫和螃蟹
一天，一只猫在湖边玩耍。忽然，一只螃蟹夹了它一下。那只猫非常生气，它追着那只螃蟹跑。一会儿，它追到了森林里。一只大的棕色的蜘蛛正在树上织网，那只猫很快地抓住了那只大的棕色的蜘蛛，并对它说：“小样儿，你上了网我就不认识你了？!”
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。
A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.
如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。
B:It's in the judge's hand now.
这事掌握在法官的手上。
A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?
如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用？
B ！This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.
哦。不会的！这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。
With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,
最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。
A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.
谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很管用。
B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.
如果你送了的话，我肯定会输掉这场官司。
A:But did send them.
但是我的确送了。
B:What? You did?！
什么？你送了？！
A:Yes.That's how we won the case.
对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。
B:I don't understand.
我不明白。
A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.
这很简单，我把雪茄送到了法官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar，I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for 10 or 15 cents each.
在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍《奥金·纳什集》颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其他的平装书每本才卖十戴十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet，and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle.Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant，he paid with a $10 bill.“Keep the change，”he said.
我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，掌出一张十美元的票子付账。“零钱不用找了。”他说。
One Side of the Case
一面之辞
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右边耳朵听得见吗？”法官问道。那人点了点头。
"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."
“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Imitation 模仿
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomachs hurting because its empty. Itll be all right when youve got something in it.
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
Thats because its empty, said his bright son. Youd be all right if you had something in it.
一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的'，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。
The Thinker
《思想者》
Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.
两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》。
"What do you suppose hes thinking about?"asked one.
“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。
"I guess hes thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.
“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了，”另一个回答说。